It's day two here on my journey to a happy place and today I want to talk about my saving grace. Something that I had to learn the hard way was how to let things go. For the longest time I was overly consumed with the ideas of having everything be perfect, or having everyone love me, or making sure that everything ran smoothly. It wasn't until about my freshman year of college that I finally (and fully) understood that life wasn't meant to be perfect. Sometimes, you just have to take things for what they are and let it go.
Whether you're talking about a bad grade in school, or not getting into the college of your dreams, or having a less than perfect birthday, or finding out that someone you know has been talking smack about you - just let it go.
Life is too short to dwell on and obsess over these petty little things. As long as I am alive and well, I really don't have that much to complain about. I was born into a great family and blessed with opportunities galore. Everything else is secondary.
I learned very quickly that the key to success was to give zero fucks about all these secondary things.
For example (and this is just one example in my life), I went to a very small, very clique-y middle/high school. We were a graduating class of about 114 kids. Out of my group of about 20 or 25 friends, I still speak to only 2 people from high school. That's because, to be completely honest, I really didn't care much for the other 111. When I got to college, I was suddenly one of 15,000 kids on campus. I was freaking thrilled. I adopted a great policy towards making friends.... "Hey, you're cool and all, but we really don't have anything in common so I'm going to go talk to one of these other 14,998 kids I have available to choose friends from. See you later... or not.... who knows!"
Boom. Done. NEXT!
Is it a little harsh? Yeah, probably. Is it super blunt? Yeah, definitely. But in the long run I saved myself from a lot of frustration and awkwardness. We've all been there - we've all had those conversations about those people that we don't really like but we feel obliged to hang out with them because we've known them for so long and because they're in the periphery of our group and we'd feel kinda bad/awkward if we didn't include them in things anymore.
Oh my god. I have zero patience for that kind of stuff. Especially being in NYC now with close to 8 million people to pick and choose from. Call me elitist, I don't care. Life is too freaking short to surround myself with people that don't bring me to my happiest level.
Here's the key though.... You have to 100% totally and completely OWN this mentally if this is going to work for you. And by that I mean when someone calls you out on it, you admit it openly. You can't have this mindset and then pretend to be someone different. This goes for anything really in life.
Know your perspective. Own it and wear it proudly. Accept that not everyone's going to like your attitude. And then LET. IT. GO.
Friends and family are important - but taking care of yourself is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing you will ever do. Because, and I'm sorry to say this, nobody will ever care about you first. Human beings are selfish, and that's ok! Sometimes selfishness is important. Loving yourself, respecting yourself, and knowing that you have reasonable standards are EXTREMELY important qualities to have. Haters gonna hate.... fuck em. Let them hate. Just remember to always let it go because dwelling on it and thinking "wah, xy+z don't like me as a person" is not going to benefit you in any way. If what they think really irks you that much, let it go anyways with a promise to yourself to make a change because, again, sitting around obsessing over the comment for 5 straight days and then doing nothing about it is useless and silly.
The Let It Go doctrine can be applied to anything really - a shitty day at work, a bad haircut, the horrible moment when you step on a scale for the first time in three years, getting dumped, or whatever.
Anyways - this simple method has been something I've been trying to incorporate more and more into my everyday life. It started out with my relationships with people (don't get me wrong - I'm a good friend, I swear, I just don't have patience for certain kinds of people) and has slowly been creeping its way into the other sectors of my life.
I couldn't be happier about it.
We spend far too much time worrying about things and being upset. Let's try and spend more time focused on the things that make us happy, eh?