There are two kinds of men in this world - the ones that like you too much and the ones that don't like you enough. (This applicable to women as well, I'm just thinking from my perspective.) The exceptions are the ones worth dating. I know that I'm young and I don't have the wisdom and experience of someone who has been married for 15 or 20 years, but I've seen a lot of men in this world and I've observed a lot of relationships (my own and those of my friends). We live in a world where everyone's worried about finding that special someone to settle down with and love forever, so it's inevitable that something like this would be on my mind and worthy of writing a post about.
A good friend of mine (affectionately known as Councilfart) gave me some excellent advice: "You never want to date someone who is more into you than you are into them, or vice versa. The best relationships are those where the attraction (physical and mental) is balanced on both ends." I've been trying to remind myself this everyday because it makes a lot of sense. Too many of my friends have gotten into unbalanced relationships and have felt suffocated and it just ends really badly. Nobody wants a messy break-up. And nobody wants a broken heart.
So how do you find the balance? Well, like I said, I'm no dating expert but I'm a firm believer in being open and honest and always laying out your cards on the table if you really care about someone. Earlier this summer I was briefly seeing a guy who I had met at a family event. He was very attractive and very sweet and we felt a connection immediately. However, he had some baggage and I had some hesitations - all of which we talked about on the first or second date - and in the end it didn't work out. I felt really bad because I knew he really liked me but (and this is going to sound really harsh) in the end, I just wasn't that into him. I think that a lot of people have a hard time admitting that. We all get so caught up in the heat of the moment and the thrill of finding someone who is interested that we forget to take a step back and really look at the situation and see if its the right thing. Maybe I'm just blabbering and this is all just in my head, but shwatever. It's my blog and I'll ramble if I want to.
So getting back to the point - being honest... really important. Lucky for me I don't always have a filter (like today I accidentally said in a meeting that I sometimes find my job boring and repetitive) and if I'm having a good conversation with someone I'm not scared to open up to them, even if it is the first time I'm meeting them. I like to let people know who I am, where I'm coming from and what I believe in and I don't see anything wrong with that. A lot of guys have told me that they find it very intimidating, but screw them. I am who I am and if I'm ever going to find someone in this world I'd rather start eliminating the ones that can't handle me right off the bat. I hate girls that act differently in front of guys because they want to make a good impression. I hate girls that don't eat when they go out to dinner with a guy because they think they will look fat. Um, hi. You're on a date with a guy and he's taking you to this amazing restaurant with great food and you're ordering a salad and eating two bites of it because you're afraid he won't like you if you eat a normal person meal and then he won't want to be with you and he won't want to marry you and then you'll die alone? Rewind for a minute, crazy chick. I'd rather stuff a burger in my face and eventually find a guy who loves me for that than be stuck with someone who has a skewed perception of me for the rest of my life. Not to mention you will probably be anorexic and die of malnutrition. Just saying. That seems dumb to me. Eat a sandwich.
So as I've established before, there are a lot of people in this city. Which means lots of options. Hehe. Wink-wink-nudge-nudge. But ... it's got me thinking about why I'm still single. I realized that it's not that I haven't met people. Oh boy, oh boy have I met people. It all comes back to my first statement in this post: the guys that I've been meeting are either not really interested or stage-five-clinger-status. With the guys that aren't that into you - yea it sucks but I've made some awesome friends in exchange. With the latter? Well... We've all been there.... Every day people come to this city looking for new opportunities: new work opportunities and new chances at finding love. There's a reason why they call it the city where dreams come true. With that many people, yes you're chances of finding the right person go up, but at the same time the number of wrong people you meet on a daily basis increases drastically as well (something they fail to mention in the brochure). No, random drunk person on the street, I will not give you my phone number even if you do badger me for the length of my entire cigarette.
Damn you sneaky lunch break - always ending before I get a chance to figure out what the point is of my blog post. Ok. Really quickly. Bottom line? Keep an open heart, an open mind, and an open mouth (hehe that's a little dirty). Remember to be honest with your partner AND YOURSELF. Don't shut anyone out before giving them an honest to god chance. And always keep your chin up. If things are good, be grateful. If things are bad, stay positive. It's a big world out there with billions upon billions of people. In the search for true love, if nothing else, you'll make some great friends and memories along the way.