Life is a revolving door. People come, people go. A few awesome idiots get stuck and land up sticking around forever - but the majority of them are just passing through. I’ve spent some time recently thinking about the various people that have been whisked through my life’s door.
Isn’t it interesting to look back on who we were a year ago? How about five years ago? Dare you think back to ten years ago? Do you remember who your closest friends were back then? Do you still keep in touch with them all?
Chances are you’ve got a friend or two who was your center, your rock, your core at that time - but you haven’t heard from them in ages. Maybe you moved away from one another, maybe you stopped calling as much, maybe there was a falling out, or maybe there was a split in the road and life simply took you in separate directions. Whatever the case, there are probably a few people you once thought you could never live without drifting towards the periphery of your life.
That’s ok! Life happens! People change. Situations change. Needs change.
I’ve noticed that as I progress through life, my needs are in fact changing. Someone who may have given me everything I needed five years ago, might not have anything to left to contribute at this place in my life. I am not who I was five years ago, and I am more than ok with that.
I have grown, I have matured, I have lived, I have learned. I have absorbed all that I can from a handful of people (be it knowledge, emotional support, advice, whatever!) and as grateful as I am for that, it’s important to recognize when to let go.
We can’t cling on to the past or people from our past simply because they’ve been there for a long time. This doesn't mean that we should feel any less love towards them! No, no, no, no. Just because someone's no longer a key figure in our lives doesn't mean that we should turn all that love into resentment. I mean, we aren’t going to sit around making voodoo dolls of our ex-friends or ex-lovers…. And if any of my near and dear ones from any stage in my life were to call me and ask me to help hide a body, I'd probably grab my shovel, no questions asked. (Ok, maybe just a few questions.)
I want you to remember as much as you can about those special people and the times you shared together. Remember the laughs. Remember each instance where you were grateful for their shoulder to cry on, and vice versa. Remember everything that ever mattered to you in that relationship. Embrace it. Hold onto it until you are old and gray and wrinkly.
Identify the reasons why they were so important, recall the lessons you learned and the way you felt before/during/after, and then? Smile, send them some love and sunshine, and get back to living your life!
Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing, in fact it’s quite the opposite. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to look back on life and see just how far you’ve come. It’s nice to be able to look back on everything I’ve survived, whether it was petty middle school drama or the death of a loved one, and be grateful for the lessons I learned from that experience and the people who helped me learn them.
So here’s a big thank you to ALL of you. Whether you’ve already left the building (please do come visit again), are just coming in (welcome to my loony laboratory), or happen to be one of my lovable trapped morons… let me just say this: It’s an honor and a privilege to have met you.
Bursting with love and gratitude, xx Nikbear