Searching for Stability

2013 was a year of immense change for me. I took on a lot of exciting new challenges that proved to be excellent opportunities for both professional and personal growth. I took it as a year to really ask myself "Am I happy with the person I am becoming and the life I am creating for myself?” ... Turns out the answer to that question on a lot of fronts was NO.

So I cut the crap, hunkered down, restructured my priorities, changed my habits, and made a plan for YES. I tackled it all (because that’s how I do: all-or-nothing, go-big-or-go-home) and woke up in 2014 feeling.... exhausted. Incredibly proud and accomplished, but so freaking tired.

So I took all of January for some self-care and me-loving. I figured it was my birthday month after all.... might as well take the excuse to be a little selfish.

Searching for Stability - npamani

During my little hiatus, I took it upon myself to journal a lot more. Maybe it was because I didn't have time to write here, or maybe it’s because I had a lot of feels, or maybe it’s just because I love writing by hand. Whatever the motivation, I gave myself a personal challenge to write in my journal any/every single time I felt happy, sad, angry, hopeful, frustrated, excited, lonely, scared, worried, sexy, etc. Anytime I felt a strong emotion and happened to be near my journal, I’d snatch it up and scribble away for an hour or so.

Documenting my feelings as they were surging through me helped me be honest and true with myself in a way that I could remember and reflect on later.

It was probably the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long time. Why? Because only when we record and recall our moments of extreme can we find our balance.

Searching for Stability - npamani

Right before the new year, my best-bear (Hillary) asked me a question that I was temporarily baffled by... "What's your word for 2014?"

After a couple sips of my whiskey-ginger and a few moments of reflection, I decided on "stability."

2013 was a year of extreme highs and lows for me. For that reason, I spent a lot of time concentrating on one aspect of self-care or self-love in an attempt to fix the damage that had been done from weeks of neglect. I learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way in the shape of recognizing warning signs and learning better coping mechanisms, and I want to take 2014 to put those newfound skills to use. I'm trying to dedicate a little bit of time everyday to each of these aspects of self-care to maintain a sense of equilibrium.

The goal is to stop looking for a quick fix, to stop trying to play catch up. I’d really love for everything to be a little bit more balanced and stable from routine maintenance.

I spent December/January trying to find the right balance for me between mind, body, & soul care.

For my mind: I started planning for 2014, thinking about important changes I wanted to make to my business, who my ideal client is, and what my best strengths to monetize on are. I’m happy to report that so far it’s paying off and I’ve spent the last month working with two FABULOUS women whom I absolutely love to bits and am eternally grateful for.

For my body: Last fall I started working out and eating better - and I felt FANTASTIC. (Do people know about endorphins?) Of course, the holidays rolled around (starting with Thanksgiving and ending with my birthday in January) and all those good habits went partially back to shit. I’ve kind of plateaued halfway between where I was an where I want to be, so that’ll be my main focus for February. Getting back on that fitness wagon! I’m blasting through this post right now actually so I can take my pup on a nice long walk through the snow and then head to the grocery store (so my apologies for typos and whatnot).

For my soul: There was a lot of soul care these past few months. Taking a much needed vacation to the Carribean with my family, reading lots of books, spending time with loved ones, dancing with reckless abandon, meditating and stretching regularly, and just celebrating life in general. I definitely needed it after the madness that was 2013.

Searching for Stability - npamani

Of course, all of these life changes need to be reflected in my blog. No change in the life of bear is final until it’s been reflected here, with you lovely people.

I took some time last night to sit down and think about what I want to write about and what I want this blog to become. I mean, we’re coming up on our FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY, you guys. And even if you haven’t been here from the very beginning, you are totally still welcome to come celebrate.

Anyways - I decided that this, my little npamani.com digi-home, has become a sort of magazine of my life... so why not play that up?

In an attempt to stop killing myself for eight page posts every day, I'm also working to spread out my content a little better this year and bring you guys shorter but still totally awesome posts every week. Here's what we're looking at in case you’re ever so curious:

- Mondays will now be for Mind-Body-Soul tips. Mental Health Mondays were cool and all, but there’s more to self-care than just peace of mind. - Tuesdays are for Trends, Tunes, Tastes, & Travels. Each week I’ll bring you a curated list of my faves in fashion, music, beauty, food, travel, etc. - Working Wednesdays. Same concept as Industry Hump, just a new (more mature) title. - Thoughtful Thursdays will be reserved for editorial content that my brain periodically farts out about anything/everything from my day-to-day life and NYC shenanigans.

You guys are my best accountability buddies and I’d absolutely LOVE to hear all about your word for 2014 and all the challenges you’ll be tackling this year. Feel free to drop me a line via email or in my Facebook group.

Hoping that this year has been fabulous so far for each and every one of you!!

Finding my center, xx Nikbear