Hello friends! I'm so sorry that I missed the last couple Mental Health Mondays posts, but I promise that it was with good reason. I've been making a lot of changes in my life lately in terms of my career path, my relationships, and my living environment. I've been working hard to realign my center, take back control, and make hard, but critical steps towards my future. It's a new year, so maybe it's time for a new perspective on things.
One of the hardest things you'll ever do is to make the decision to put yourself first. Recognizing your worth and deciding that you are worth more (more money, more respect, more recognition, more love, more affection, more whatever) than what you are currently getting can often feel selfish. But it's necessary. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: nobody will ever care about you more than they care about themselves. If you don't put yourself first, nobody else will.
When you feel like you're being taken advantage of and you're beginning to wonder if you're destined for greater things, it can be hard to jump out of your comfort zone and into the unknown. Too many people get stuck in jobs, relationships, places, and lives that no longer make them happy.
Life is too short for that. I want to be spending every minute doing something that makes me happy. Something that leaves me feeling full and drowsy, the way a fantastic meal would. I'm done doing things the way society thinks I should. I tried that. It didn't work out. Not because I didn't work hard enough, but because it wasn't right for me.
For a while I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to be doing, I just knew that this couldn't be it. So how was I going to figure it out? What was I going to do? How could I justify leaving the security of my desk job and taking the plunge into the dark abyss of uncertainty?
I took a deep breath. I wrote down all my thoughts in a notebook - it was 15 pages of fast scribbling sprinkled with water marks from tears, angry rants in all caps, and dreamy doodles. I tucked the notebook away in my bedside table and tried to forget about it for a couple of days. In an effort to cheer myself up, I baked brownies, took a bubble bath, threw myself into the arms of friends and loved ones, and spent an entire afternoon spooning my dog. It was the most liberating weekend I had ever experienced. I had finally released all my thoughts, emotions, fears, and frustrations into that notebook. I came back to my notebook feeling good. And I re-read all those pages. I don't think I had really realized just how unhappy I was until that very moment. And suddenly, the answer seemed so clear to me.
Yes, diving head first into the unknown would be terrifying, but continuing on this path of most certain unhappiness would be way worse. I needed to get out, and I needed to get out NOW, while I still had the strength.
I went back to my roots and rediscovered my greatest passion and motivation in life: travel. And came up with a few different plans to make that passion the focus of my life.
Working hard is great, but it's important to remember what you are working for. Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten my own cardinal rule: Work hard, then play harder.
So here I am. About to jump off my comfort cliff and into my uncharted future. Am I terrified? Maybe a little. Am I excited? Definitely. Am I ready? Absofreakinglutely.
Hoping you'll take this leap with me, xx Nikbear