The Fear that Drives Us

I am TERRIFIED of failure. It's one of the few things that actually scares the crap out of me in this world. (The other things are needles and cockroaches in case you were curious.) So when I was a kid I made a decision... failure in ALL facets of my life (career, relationships, personal goals, etc.) would simply no longer be an option. Thanks but no thanks on that bridge to nowhere.

It is this refusal to accept the concept of failure that has pushed me to accomplish as much as I have so far in life. And any perceived failures weren't really failures at all because I would always get back up and try again, try harder, push harder, find a new way, find a better a way, find a way that works.

Recently, however, I've given this fear a little too much slack. It's gone errant. It's taken on a life of its own and has permeated every thought of my being. It's not hard to see how - I'm in the toddler stages of a new business, struggling to make a name for myself in the Big Apple, pinching pennies, pulling all nighters, and just generally driving myself a tiny bit crazy. A very good friend of mine had to pull me out of a near mental breakdown brought on by my fear of failure. And she said to me...

..."Let your fear drive you, not control you."

It is so important to remember this, friends! Fear can be a great thing - it can help keep us on our toes, making us hyperconscious of the fantastic risks we are taking, and forcing us to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. But when we start to prepare for the worst we are misusing that fear.

When we allow the fear to control us, we are losing faith in ourselves and our innate abilities to make our dreams realities. We forget that the goals we set for ourselves are in fact attainable. We forget that we are capable of doing anything and everything we set our minds to. We start to second guess ourselves. We begin to panic. We lose focus and start deviating from the path we had set out on. We are, essentially, causing our own demise by allowing the fear to take the reigns.

So today I'm inviting you all to take a deep breath and take a step back from whatever big projects you are working on or personal goals you are tackling. Are you still focused? Are you using your fears effectively to stay motivated and on course? Are you still in control of your destiny?

Remember that YOU HAVE THE POWER. And whatever little freedom you gave to your fears to run wild, you can also take back. Don't let your fears run your life!! Don't let your fears convince you that you can't do it... because I'm here to remind you that you can do it ALL and more.

Taking back the reigns, xx Nikbear