Helllloooo! I’m so sorry I missed yesterday’s Mind-Body-Soul post, but I was dying of a flu-migraine-foodpoisoning thing and couldn’t look at my computer screen for more than a few minutes at a time. Feeling a bit better today so I thought I’d do a twofer and combine a Mind-Body-Soul post with this month’s TunesDaze! Ready? Lesggo... In case you guys have missed the cracked out displays all over town and the avalanche of emails, Tweets, Facebook posts, and general digi-hoopla... this Friday is VALENTINE’S DAY! Yay for Hallmark Holidays!
When you’re a single gal in NYC, Valentine’s Day can be tough. I am reminded of the countless catch-up conversations I have had with my lady friends, far and near, in the last year. They almost always include the line “Any new men in your life?” And my answer is almost always “Hahahahaha... no.”
I’ve been the notoriously single girl in my group of friends for as long as I can remember, and I’m ok with it. I spent a lot of time in my younger days trying to force one guy in particular to love me. I was seeking his approval and affection as a sort of validation of my life. And boy, oh boy was that dumb. I spent roughly 6 years of waiting around for him to wake up and be like “LOL JK I TOTALLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU NOW.”
But I eventually realized that even if he did one day come out and say that (he never did), I didn’t want to be with him anymore. Why? Because I had reduced myself to needing his companionship as proof of my awesomeness instead of wanting it as a supplement to my already established awesomeness. I had somehow convinced myself that since this one guy didn't want to be with me, I was undesirable. Worse yet, I started acting as if I was undesirable. For a while, I stopped grooming myself, I started eating a bunch of crap, I holed up in my apartment for days on end, and I basically became a disgusting, miserable blob of a person. And anyone who makes you act that way, is so not worth it.
When I realized what I had allowed this one person to do to my self-perception and self-esteem, I seemed to snap out of it almost instantaneously. I took a shower, put my big girl pants on, threw on some lipstick and charged back out into the world ready to reclaim myself. I had let someone bring out the worst in me for too long, and I was on a mission to rediscover all the things I had once upon a time ADORED about myself.
Of course, the change didn't happen over night, and I've spent the past year learning how to love myself better. I'm still a work in progress, but I have to admit that I have come leaps and bounds from the not-so-hot mess I was this time last year.
This year I’m going to be own damn Valentine because I am so freaking in love with myself. Or at least I'm trying to be. I’ll be filling my solo VDay weekend with a healthy dose of the following:
- Half a tray of homemade butterscotch brownies (providing they survive the rest of the week)
- Peppermint mochas & hot cocoas with tiny marshmallows
- A gaggle of great lady friends
- A pedicure and massage
- A Zumba class and a yoga class
- A bubble bath with champagne and a good book
- A decadent homemade dinner of lamb chops and dark chocolate mousse
- A bottle (or four) of fancy red wine
- Above & Beyond’s acoustic album
- A marathon viewing session of every episode of Sex & the City ever aired
- Maybe even a trip to Atlantic City
- A shopping trip for new shoes and accessories
- Discounted boxes of chocolate at Duane Reade on February 15th
- Anti-snow dances to bring spring ‘round these parts a little faster
- Pestering my best friends to finally adopt a tiny kitten that I can snuggle
- Excessive journaling & other writing projects
- ODing on Beyonce’s self-titled album and accompanying music videos
Since it is TunesDaze, I want to take a moment to talk about my undying love for Queen Bey. I’m almost positive that my obsession with her is borderline out of control. Her new album is pretty much the only thing my friends and I have been listening to for the past few weeks and last year when I saw her live at Barclay’s Center for her Mrs. Carter tour I definitely cried real tears. NO SHAME. Although I do apologize to all the people around me who were probably very confused by my sporadic screaming and wailing in the general direction of the stage.
She’s one of the most powerful performers I have ever seen and all of her songs speak directly to my soul. I made a comment the other day expressing my lifelong wish to just BE Beyonce, and I was reminded by my best friend that, in reality, we are ALL Beyonce. She’s the embodiment of all things womanly in both personal and professional development. And she pushes me to love myself better every single day.
If you still haven’t bought her latest self-titled album, complete with stellar music videos for EVERY track.... you’re doing it wrong. Go to iTunes immediately, purchase it, watch all the videos, watch them again, memorize the dance moves and hair flips, contemplate your own self-perception, watch them one more time, cry a little, and then make a vow to be more like Bey. If you want, you can absolutely shoot me a message so we can squeal together about how she must be the One True God. (Sorry, Nick Cage.)
And if you want a musical fix but don’t want to spend the big bucks, I've included my February TunesDaze round up of sexy sounds below!
How are you guys celebrating self-love this week? Drop it all in the comments below, or leave a message in my Facebook group!
Sending you all the love in my heart, xx Nikbear