Why My Life Would Be Awesome-er If I Had A Pet Dragon

Hello friends! I have just come home from seeing Wicked on Broadway... FINALLY! I've only been dying to see this play since like 2003. And for the record, it was totally friggin awesome. I want to go again again again again! Anyways, above the stage as part of the set is this MASSIVE iron dragon that flaps its wings and has glowing red eyes and it's sort of the coolest stage dragon I could ever imagine. Needless to say, I've got dragons on my mind. At the same time, I was just talking with my beloved friend Cassie about how suburban solitude was slowly eating away at my soul (don't worry, I'm back in the city now!) and how it would have been so much more tolerable if my parents had a pet dog.... or A PET DRAGON.

Then I would finally have a use for this awesome and hilarious sign my bestie Nat made for me our freshman year of college...

So I got to thinking about how fan-friggin-tastic it would be to have a pet dragon and all the ways my life would benefit from such a divine creature as a domestic friend. Here are some of the reasons I came up with:

1. I could seriously diminish my dependency on fossil fuels. I mean, my dragon could easily use her (I would definitely have a girl dragon, no question about it) fire breath to heat my stove and my furnace. She would also make my use of traditional methods of transportation obsolete... I mean, who needs a car or a subway when I have my very own flying dragon?

2. I would, without a doubt, be the coolest kid on the block. My purple dragon goddess (yes, she would also be purple. Duh.) would be WAY cooler than your new BMW 3 series.

3. My life would be infinitely safer as a woman living alone. Burglars, murderers and rapists don't fuck with a dragon. It's just common knowledge.

4. I would be helping out the entire species (?) of dragons by showing the rest of the world that they are just seriously misunderstood creatures. They aren't all evil and demonic... I mean, come on, couldn't we all argue that there are some evil people/dogs/cats/ferrets but in general, most of them are good. Dragons are majestic and lovely and kind and just freaking cool. Don't let a few castle-guarding temperamental dragons ruin the whole lot of them. Stereotyping is bad, y'all.

Really, the only down side I can see to getting a dragon is that it may or may not fit in my little studio apartment on the Upper East Side.... but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Hope that you enjoyed this silly hump day post. Leave a comment with some of the reasons you think a dragon would be a great pet in your household!

Soaking up the city, xx Nikbear